limited lifetime warranty
YOU
Human (Current Revision)
S/N: 2UULYAP8MPGMMFG: 1981
covered
1x Skeleton206 bones
Non-transferable. Some assembly occurred at birth.
2x EyesStandard pair
No refunds. Color may vary. Night mode sold separately.
10x Fingers5 per hand
User-serviceable. Warranty void if used for texting ex.
1x ConsciousnessSingle unit
Warranty void if examined too closely.
1x HeartEmotional + mechanical
Covered for physical defects only. Emotional damage excluded.
not covered
— Heartbreak
— Existential dread
— That thing you said in 2014
— The dream where your teeth fall out
— Sundays after 4pm
— The urge to check your phone at 3am
Expires: Unknown. Do not contact manufacturer for estimates.
This warranty does not guarantee satisfaction, purpose, or the ability to parallel park.